I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
