Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
