So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
