You surviving the open bar?
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I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize