I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
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