the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
