found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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