96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
