do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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