girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
