In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
where are you?
Hypothermia
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
