Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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