Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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