when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
