On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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