Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
