Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you would pick up someone in the library
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
