And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
