Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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