I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
