Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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