Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
