I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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