No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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