sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
