he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
