Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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