You made me cry and you don't even care
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
