Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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