Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
