This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
