just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
