ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
This is my gift to your gina
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother†Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
