'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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