I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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