I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize