Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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