there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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