Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
