forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
