Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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