Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize