I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
