I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize