she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
