you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
