Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Me. At least after what I've been through.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
