Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
