I understand Curling. That high.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
