so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
