Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
