Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
