Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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