There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
