yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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