Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize