This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize