I want to stick my p in your. b.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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