I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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