I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
