Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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