Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize