that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
