is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
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