do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
