I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Randomize
