now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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