did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
