obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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