oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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